Barnardo’s appeals for more foster parents for siblings as demand soars across Wales

Barnardo’s Cymru has issued an urgent appeal for more people to become foster parents following an increase of more than 400% in the number of siblings needing to find homes together.

The children’s charity has been asked to find carers for 70 brothers and sisters in Wales in the last 12 months, up from just 13 the year before. Without more carers able to take more than one child there is a danger siblings will be split up.

Barnardo’s believes the pandemic and lockdown measures have piled additional pressure onto struggling families with job losses, deepening poverty and worsening mental health contributing to family breakdown.

The charity runs Barnardo’s Cymru Fostering and Adoption Services, a not-for-profit fostering agency, specialising in finding homes for children who local authorities have found difficult to place. These include sibling groups, older children, children from minority ethnic backgrounds and those with disabilities.

The total number of children it was asked to place between August 20 and July 21 was 739, up 4.5% from the 707 the previous year. But it is the demand for sibling placements which is a particular concern.

Martin Kaid, head of Barnardo’s Cymru Fostering and Adoption Services, said: “These children have been through a lot and need loving, stable and safe families where they can stay together and support each other so they feel less isolated.”

A new YouGov survey for Barnardo’s shows that 12% of adults questioned in Wales said they would consider fostering a child aged 18 or under in the next five years. However, that figure dropped to 9% when asked the same question about fostering siblings.

The survey also shows how vital it is for siblings to remain together – 74% of adults said that growing up with a sibling had been important to them.

The appeal comes as part of Barnardo’s Fostering Focus Month which has been backed by reality star Lydia Bright who is also a Barnardo’s Fostering and Adoption Ambassador. She grew up surrounded by children fostered by her mum, fellow ambassador Debbie Douglas.

Lydia said: “I have two sisters and a brother and can’t imagine what it would have been like if we had had to be separated as we grew up. We are so close and have always been there for each other – whether it’s been to play, laugh or cry together.

“I can truly say that fostering has been a wonderful experience and I hope many families across the UK will consider finding out more from Barnardo’s about how they can foster children, in particular siblings so they can stay together at a vulnerable time in their lives.”   

Martin Kaid said: “We urge people to come forward to find out more about what being a foster parent involves. The average age for our foster parents is 55 and we welcome applications from people from all walks of life and from the LGBTQ+ community.

“We are asking people to think if they could give a home to a vulnerable child when they need it most. Your love and support can allow brothers and sisters to stay together and make a huge difference to their lives – and to yours. If you are over 21, have a spare room and the time and commitment to support a child – you could be the special person they need.”

Barnardo’s has 100 years of experience in fostering. Experts provide all the training needed and support 24/7. Foster parents will also get financial support, including a carer’s allowance to help make a positive difference to a child’s life. For more information see barnardos.org.uk, email bcafs@barnardos.org.uk or call 02920 484316

Case study – Bridget Davies from Ceridigion 

For Bridget Davies the secret to being a successful foster parent with Barnardo’s Cymru is never losing the sense of fun and wonder of being a child.

Turning a walk in the woods into a Harry Potter adventure or a trip to the beach into a search for pirate treasure can help a foster child begin to relax in their new home and learn to trust her. 

So despite being in her sixties she’s not afraid to skip along the beach or balance on a log as she builds a relationship with a foster child who may have never learnt to play or socialise before they arrive on her doorstep in rural Ceridigion.

The retired nurse and grandmother has always loved filling her home with children and when a nursing colleague suggested giving fostering a try she discovered a second vocation. 

Giving children who may have had a tough start a stable family life has changed her life and the lives of those she has fostered.

“I absolutely love it. The children I’ve had have been awesome and seeing the changes in them has been so rewarding. In fact rewarding doesn’t begin to describe the feeling when you witness those special moments,” said Bridget. 

She chose to foster primary age children long term and opted for boys because she still had a son living at home who she knew would be a good role model. When she began fostering in 2009 she also had her late mother living with her too and felt that together they could provide a child with a real sense of family values.

With fields around them and the family’s established place in the community Bridget believed she could provide the all-important sense of stability for a child who may have suffered neglect or other trauma.

Her first child stayed with them from 10 until 18 and still calls her Mum. She has now fostered three boys, each with their own challenges and rewards.  Each has become a special part of the family and her first two travelled with her to her sister’s home in Hong Kong for holidays.

“Watching them experience the culture, boat trips, beaches and food eaten with chop sticks was a treasured, heart-warming experience for me. We can sometimes miss or take for granted the smaller details of life but seeing the boys savouring every aspect of life out there enriched my love of Hong Kong anew. Having a foster child opens the eyes and adds to your life, they don’t take away from it.” 

Her latest child arrived at the age of 10 just before the first lockdown which meant that Bridget, her son and her foster child had to get used to living together 24 hours a day 

“There was no school, no swimming or other outside activities and no appointments with professionals. I had to be a foster parent, teacher, social worker and nurse. The most important thing is that we got to know each other and built bonds of trust. 

“We had our own little world but our foster child needed to interact with other children and fortunately my daughter and two of her children came to stay. That was amazing and he learnt to ride a bike, play football and play cards and board games. We also spent a lot of time out walking with the dogs which he loves,” said Bridget. 

She has found that all her foster children have responded to her spontaneity and her ability to discover fun in everyday events, whether that’s turning a discarded branch into a Harry Potter wand or Star Wars light sabre, or seeing who can shout loudest or whisper the quietest when out in the woods. Simple things like learning to skim stones in the river or taking a picnic to the beach have also become opportunities to bond. 

“Having a foster child is about giving them lots of time, meeting their needs rather than trying to make them fit in with your life. I involve them in the everyday tasks of life, such as shopping for food so they feel part of the family.

“Time is what they respond to best. I have found that every child I’ve fostered has been amazing but may not have had chance to show it in their past, they may have hidden it. Over time you discover their sense of humour and it certainly helps to have one of your own.” 

She says that taking on a foster child also opens up a whole new world in a carer’s local community as they get to know a school, maybe a church, and other parents and carers involved with clubs and activities. 

Bridget said: “A foster child may not have learnt to socialise in their past and to see them learn to play and start to make friends is so rewarding.

“There is a young person out there right now waiting for you to open your heart to them. You don’t need to be perfect to be a foster carer, you don’t need to be a brilliant teacher or speak five languages, you just need to help a child feel safe and noticed, that’s all it takes. They just want You.”