Tips for Success as a Single Foster Parent

Although it is very fulfilling, becoming a foster parent is very challenging when in a committed relationship. Being a foster parent when single can lead to unique challenges, but it is definitely possible. In fact, there are numerous foster parents who thrive even though they are single. The world needs more foster parents, and if you are thinking of becoming one while single, here are some tips to help make things easier.

Plan Ahead

Being a foster parent means there are additional people in the home you need to think about. Because there is a lot to think about and do as a foster parent, you might forget some things. Instead of rushing at the last minute, it would be better to learn how to plan ahead.

Pre-planning your schedule, meals, groceries, and errands ensures you always know what you need to do and when and eliminates the stress that comes with doing things at the last minute. 

For the errands, set some time aside a week or so in advance so you can get them done at the same time. You can prepare and freeze meals if you don’t think you will have time to prepare them from scratch in the middle of the week.

If you can, do consider eating out from time to time. In addition to taking you out of the home, eating out can provide opportunities for spending time and bonding with your foster kids.

Lean on Foster Communities

Fostering comes with unique challenges that most people who have not done it cannot understand. As a foster parent, you will sometimes need help or even someone to talk to. It is much better and a lot more productive to talk to people who are understanding because they are or have been foster parents themselves.

Most foster care agencies provide support for foster parents and allow opportunities for them to meet and engage. Foster parents get people to talk to and learn from. If you are thinking of fostering Gloucestershire, you should engage a foster care agency that provides the support you might, and probably will, need.

Understand the Bigger Picture

There are many ways to measure how successful you are as a foster parent. However, many people would agree that a good indication of success is your foster kids becoming much better after staying with you for a while. To ensure this, it is important to see the bigger picture and start working towards this and other indicators of success.

Imagine the emotional condition of the kids who enter foster care. Many of them have experienced trauma stemming from negligence and other issues. As a foster parent, you know they are less likely to trust adults and have some justified fears. They are also less likely to want to accept love.

The bigger picture is helping them deal with and let go of the issues hindering their emotional development, which include trusting those that love and care for them and learning to accept love.

Seeing the bigger picture like this allows you to be a more successful foster parent. You will be doing what you need to do to ensure your foster kid or kids leave your home better than they came into it.

Unload and Make Your Life Leaner

Becoming a single foster parent is challenging enough, so it would be a good idea to unload things that make it harder to give your foster kids the attention they deserve. Having too much on your plate will also make it harder to take care of yourself. The inability to do this will make it harder to take care of your foster kids and provide them with the love, care, and attention they deserve.

Start by looking at some of the things that take a lot of your time and that you can reasonably eliminate or postpone. For example, do you volunteer a lot of your time or coach a sports team? Unless they are your primary employment, you can cut back on these activities and give that time to your foster kids.

Be Your Kids’ Anchor

As a foster parent, you are tasked with providing the right child-rearing environment since you have more interactions with your foster kid than anyone else. For this reason, you need to be the anchor that provides them with the stability and routines they will need as they grow older. 

You will be responsible for establishing their daily routines and being their primary source of values and information. You will also be required to talk to your kids much more than anyone else.

Being an anchor means you provide an environment that allows for normal childhood development. Your role is to ensure that the home does not become a source of emotional and psychological scars, as it is often the case with the homes where foster kids come from.

Encourage and Nurture Your Children’s Interests

Every child has things they are interested in. These could be specific activities or interests. Your foster kids might like drawing, coding, cooking, music, or anything else they find fun and interesting.

Allowing them to cultivate these interests is a crucial part of helping them develop their identity and focus on things they find rewarding. Getting involved as they do this gives you more opportunities to bond with them while also removing the need for you to find alternative entertainment or additional activities for them.

Take Care of Yourself

It is also important to remember to take care of yourself. Fostering, just like having your own kids, is exhausting physically, mentally, and emotionally. If you do not take care of yourself, you will find it much harder to take care of your foster kids.

Getting enough sleep is crucial since you will need to be energetic every day that you are with them. Exercising and eating right will also go a long way in helping you feel better about yourself. Kids can sense your moods and emotions, and if you are in a good mood, they will be as well.

Fostering is a fulfilling way to provide care and love to kids who need it and who might not get it otherwise. To ensure the best outcomes, put yourself in a position to succeed as a foster parent.

References

A national campaign to improve foster care

The Good, the Bad, and the Sticky: 4 Tips From a Single Foster Mom

https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/sop2.10

https://foster.wachildrenandfamilies.org/blog/the-key-to-being-successful-as-a-single-foster-parent

Tips On Being A Single Foster Parent (Or Fostering When Your Spouse Travels)