Youth bereavement charity shares an activity you could do with children this Remembrance Day

Remembrance Day is a day in the calendar year where collectively the country comes together to think about those who have died during service.

During times of public reflection it can be especially difficult for children, thinking about their personal losses. At this time of year schools may do something around Remembrance Day in a lesson, or they may hold a special service and this can be challenging for young people. However, it may also be really comforting for young people to feel that others are honouring their person who has died this Remembrance Day.

Spending time as family to discuss your thoughts about these days can be useful. If the bereavement is a military death, there may be mixed feelings from families and young people about attending a service or ceremony, and there is no right or wrong answer. If young people are not keen to go, it’s worth exploring if there are other ways of remembering that they would like to try.

Winston’s Wish have shared an activity suitable for children to help them remember their important person. You could even get involved in this activity too and create your own tree.

Make a button tree

When there is a bereavement in a family it can help to think about who we have around us and recognise the person who has died still has a place in our family. Creating a button tree reminds us of the branches of our family and helps young people to think about who is closest to them. Using creative ways to remember can help young people express themselves who may not be able to put their feelings into words.

To do this you’ll need a selection of different shaped and sized buttons (you could use shells, different shapes of dried pasta – anything with various shapes you have available at home), pva glue, a canvas or cardboard, colouring pens or pipe cleaners.

Start by making a list of all the people you want on your button tree. Next choose a button (or object you’ve chosen instead) to represent each of these people. If you want to, place your buttons next to the right names and take a picture so you remember who is who. Then design your tree – if you want you can practise on a piece of paper and then trace the design onto the final board. You can be as creative as you wish – this is your design! 

Draw the tree using a permanent marker, a washable pen is fine too but it will fade over time. Position all of your buttons where you want them on the tree, then stick down with the glue.

You could use this as an opportunity to talk to the young person whilst you’re making your trees or once you’ve both finished. It’s interesting to think about why certain buttons have been chosen to represent people, or why they have been added in that place to their tree. These activities use more creative elements of the brain, and sometimes its only when the process finishes we can begin to find meaning or create a story around the tree. Creative activities can be very helpful in both remembering and creating understanding.

If you’re looking for support for a young person who has been affected by the death of somebody important, visit winstonswish.org for help, guidance and advice. Winston’s Wish provides support for young people up to the age of 25 and for adults supporting them. They work with all bereavements including those who’ve died in service.