National biographer shares moving account of daughter’s perspective of living with her mum’s dementia

Dementia Action Week: National biographer shares moving account of daughter’s perspective of living with her mum’s dementia 

Over half of Britons say that much of their family history is lost because they no longer are able to speak with the person who knows the most about it

StoryTerrace authors and ghostwriters discuss the importance of preserving priceless memories and family history before it is lost 

“As ‘For God’s Sake Mother’ is written from a daughter’s perspective it’s also a ‘helpful guide’ to surviving dementia fallout”

Dementia Action Week, beginning today till the 19th of May, offers a crucial time to draw attention to the degenerative disease currently affecting a shocking 55 million people around the world and one in 14 people over the age of 65 in the UK. Categorised by loss of memory, disorientation and confusion, its devastating side effects are not exclusively felt by the individual but seep their way into the loved ones surrounding them. Understanding this, StoryTerrace, the UK’s leading memoir-writing service, found that a staggering 56% of Britons say that much of their family history is lost because they no longer are able to speak with the person who knows the most about it. Discussing the importance of preserving memories and capturing legacies before they are lost, the national biographer shares some of the moving heritage memoirs that have entered the service – written either by patients in their earlier stages or by family members. 

Meet Janis Spicer, a woman who dedicated her memoir to the memories of her mother which were lost to the ‘Dementia Demon’ in 2018:

Janis’ mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2018 and later decided to document the devastating home truths associated with the illness as part of the process of accepting and even embracing the disease that has entered her family. Sharing not only the hardest times but recalling the fun and laughter that came beforehand, Janis’s memoir collates the pieces she and her family still have of her mother to protect them for herself and her family forever. 

“We watched this disease take our mum away, piece by piece. This book has helped us navigate through the guilt and unhappiness that the demon has dragged on us, but through it, we have gained the forgiveness and understanding that Mum deserves. We hope that the memoir helps people to avoid some of the mistakes that we made along the way and focus on the good times that outshine the desperation.” 

Professional ghostwriter, Rebecca Brittain, who helped document Janis’ story comments: 

“As a ghost-writer with StoryTerrace, it is my privilege to help create family memoirs for future generations. 

“Janis’s mother’s memories were stripped away by dementia. I witnessed Janis stand up against the threat of ‘the memory-eating disease’ to painstakingly preserve key moments from her Mum’s life. 

“Janis now has a heartbreaking yet hilarious account of her mother’s life story.  As ‘For God’s Sake Mother’ is written from a daughter’s perspective it’s also a ‘helpful guide’ to surviving dementia fallout.”

Shirley Lane, started writing a story about her husband’s life 15 years ago – he subsequently developed dementia, making it difficult for her to continue with that storyline so it turned out to be more of a story about their lives together.

Shirley decided to capture her memoir for her family in a very honest account of a loving marriage and family that struggled to cope with the progressive onset of dementia. Capturing a true description of the ravages of dementia, Shirley recollects episodes of her life with her solid dependable husband until the horrific nasty disease stole away their future.

“I was blessed indeed to meet my ‘one and only’ because not everyone does. For true love to be everlasting, it takes work with plenty of give and take. Nobody is perfect, even the person we fall in love with. Ernie and I accepted one another’s faults, and nurtured our romantic love for one another so that it blossomed into something deep and lasting.”

Rutger Bruining, CEO and founder of StoryTerrace, comments on the benefits of learning about our family history whilst we still can:  

“While action weeks are a great way of starting the conversation, it is important that awareness around physical and mental health is maintained beyond this; one study shows that if you have a close relative who has been diagnosed with dementia, your risk increases by 30%. 

“One of the key benefits of writing a biography is how it brings people closer to their family, their history, and a better understanding of their past and who they really are. Half of the memoirs we see here at StoryTerrace are heritage stories. This means an individual comes to document and preserve their enriched history so that future generations can read and learn about where they came from, and their relatives’ lives before they were born.

“This means digging up old memories, reaching out to relatives from your past and filling in the gaps that are perhaps blurrier in the present. In doing so, the client comes to learn a wealth of information about their origins – it is a beautiful process that can also prove to be useful in one’s health.”