Time2Talk reply 16 Blue

Dear Time2Talk

I’m really fed up with my boyfriend who keeps texting my mate and not me.

He tells her things before me, sometimes he doesn’t even tell me, she does! Me and her used to be close, but we argued and now we are not that close anymore.

Sometimes I go funny with him and not talk to him, then he will say he won’t text me at night. He doesn’t text me but he does her!

I know, he knows, and our friends know that she likes my boyfriend, and we all think she is trying to split us up.

My boyfriend knows how I feel about her, and about them talking all the time but he says I just shouldn’t be jealous, as he loves me.

The other day I told my boyfriend’s best mate that I was being funny with him, and his best mate told him.

My boyfriend then told me that I shouldn’t have told his best mate and if I carry on like this, he will finish with me, there and then and he’d be happy with it.

Also that day, we were in Asda and he asked me to carry bread for him, so I did. However he said that I made the bread a mess by carrying it wrongly. He then took it off me and pushed me into that girl and he went to get a new loaf of bread.

I felt like crying, as all our friends were there.

We’ve been together two years now and have had a really good time together. I just don’t know what to do!

My best friend said I should stop running after him and let him run after me, should I?

Hope you can help

16 Blue

Dear 16 Blue,

Firstly, no-one has the right to physically touch you if you do not wish them too. When your boyfriend pushed you, he had absolutely no right to, and this is called physical abuse. Also, you said you felt embarrassed when he pushed you in front of your friends. Should your boyfriend embarrass you? The answer is ‘no’.

All relationships should be based on mutual respect. I don’t think that your boyfriend is showing you any respect by texting another girl, when he knows you don’t like it. I’m not saying that he shouldn’t have friends of the opposite sex, but when everyone seems to think that your friend likes him, this is a different story. Maybe, he feels flattered that another girl likes him as well as you?

You may wish to have a serious discussion with your boyfriend, and clearly explain how this situation is making you feel. Explain that his behaviour is making you really unhappy, it’s not acceptable and that you cannot continue in a relationship like this. Ask him how he would feel if you were behaving in this way?

I’m not saying this is going to be easy as there are emotions involved, and you have been in this relationship a long time. But you have to regain your self- respect and make a stand to not allow yourself to be treated in this manner.

Best of luck and remember that you deserve to be in a loving, honest and respectful relationship.

Gemma