Time to Talk reply Family at war!

Dear Time2Talk, My family hate my boyfriend!

I think he’s great and wonderful, he’s got a job, rents a flat and drives but my family hate him. There is an age difference, I’m 18 and he’s 26 and he’s known me and the family since I was very young.

We do have the odd argument but the family are over the top about him and say there’s something up with him. He’s not allowed to see his daughter but his ex is part of that and she’s spiteful.

What can I do?

Thanks

Family at war

Thanks

Dear Family at war,

People don’t usually hate someone for no reason. You state your family…this means more than one person. This calls for investigation! Speak to each family member and find out the reasons for this hatred? Tell them you just want the facts.

Family members worry about each other, so they are obviously worried about you being in a relationship with this man. Find out why.

You also need to explore the reasons why he isn’t allowed to see his child. Who says he can’t (ex partner, court etc…)?

I’m not saying for one minute not to trust your boyfriend. But always remember that people have their own version of the ‘truth’ and this can sometimes mean it’s more favourable to the person telling you ‘their version’. You will have gut instincts, don’t ignore them, they are usually right. Remember your heart can tell you one thing and your head can tell you another.

Without sounding patronising, you are 18 years old. I remember being 18 and bought my first house with my partner at the time. I had a lot of responsibility at a young age…and although I don’t regret anything, I’ve learned to take a step back and look at the bigger picture and source wisdom from important people in my life. This helps me to make better decisions.

I wish you all the best with your situation.

Gemma