Time2Talk reply, frightened

Dear Time2Talk

I’m writing this at my work desk because I daren’t write it at home. Not that I’m going to be working for long as my partner has forced me to give it up!

He constantly undermines me, puts me down, checks my mobile, times me when I go to the shops and is violent towards me when drunk. He says it’s my problem as he gets very jealous of other men because he says I’m beautiful. This means I’m not allowed to look at or talk to them but they might come up to me or smile and then he’s gone off on one. He says he’s worried that I’ll leave him like his ex partner did and go and cheat on him.

I’m living with him and my son, he’s not the father and I’m in an area where I don’t know a lot of people and I’m far from family.

What can I do and where can I turn too?

Thanks

Frightened.

Dear Frightened,

This may be quite shocking to hear, but you are in an abusive relationship. Domestic Abuse is all about power and control. Healthy relationships are not about this and is based on mutual respect. Not only is he making your life a misery, he is taking away your basic human rights.

No one can make you do anything you don’t want to do. It sounds like you don’t have a support network and this is very important. Knowledge will also give you some confidence. Is there any way you can access the internet without him looking over your shoulder or checking what you have viewed?

If yes, then please go onto Llanelli Women’s Aid website. You can read up about domestic abuse. You will gain a better understanding about what is happening to you and your son. There is also an option to email or phone them and ask to meet with a trained experienced member of the team.

They can offer you all the support you need. They will not force you to do anything, they will simply give you the information so that you can make informed decisions. You can also call into the office which is based at 32, Station Road Llanelli. Their number is: 01554 752422.

Please relax in the fact that their service is totally confidential and your safety and your sons safety is paramount.

This is happening to your son too, and not to panic you but the effects on children can be detrimental to his development and happiness. There is support for you, you are not alone, you can get through this and you can be happy again.

You can also research some information yourself. Google ‘healthy relationships’. This will also confirm that what you are experiencing isn’t healthy.

Please know that you don’t need to do this alone, Llanelli Women’s Aid can help you and your son.

Best of luck,

Gemma