Pembrey Parish Churches, St. Illtyd and Llandyry

Monday 25th May 2020. Last week marked ‘Mental Health Awareness Week’. A hugely important aspect of our living that we frequently overlook or ignore. Our tendency is to think in terms of mental health ‘issues’ as being certain illnesses or problems that affect other people; but not us. And yet, world-wide, issues to do with mental health affect inter-personal relationships, families and wider communities in ways, sometimes very subtle, that impact on us all.

‘Mental Health’ may immediately bring to mind the devastating illnesses of Dementia or Alzheimer’s which rob people and families of their true selves, with physical impact as well. People we know so well become strangers, and we to them. Then there are the varying degrees of Depression, from a mild feeling of ‘being low’ and lacking both interest in things and loss of energy through to the more severe symptoms of Clinical Depression: Bi-Polar and Schizophrenic behaviour ; domestic violence or suicide. Some of these conditions are related to chemical changes and electric charges within the nervous system and can be regulated, if not cured, by prescription drug therapy and supervised support.

These all sometimes appear ‘external’ to us; something other people suffer from. But the reality of our living at present, the weeks of ‘Lockdown’, may have highlighted some aspect of mental health concern for many people. The confinement, not being able to go out or travel or socialise, brings us to a point where we have to live ‘with our own company’ and the long hours of silence brings their own challenge. We keep busy perhaps in an attempt to avoid our own company! How many times have we suggested to the bereaved ‘Keep busy to take your mind off things’? It has its place, but in the end we must face the new reality.

When the ‘Lockdown’ first started I posted the first of these Reflections in which I suggested that, trying to look at this time positively, it creates a space for reflection on ourselves and our lives. I still believe that is true. The problem is we’re not very good at ‘Being’ rather than ‘Doing’. Yes, we all have different personalities, some more ‘Let’s get things done’ than others, but somehow we as humans have an innate feeling built into us that we have to ‘justify’ our existence. It takes many forms: from over-work, perhaps, at the expense of family and friendships to obsessive ‘people-pleasing’ or irrational feelings of guilt for simply being ourselves. I’m sure there is a more exhaustive list.

We may have been fortunate not to fall ill because of the CoVid19 virus, but we are all affected by the implications of its existence and in the space created by our confinement perhaps there has been the challenge to look at ourselves. Looking back: perhaps regrets and guilts. In the present: frustrations and possibly anger at how this tiny viral particle has come to dictate our living. Looking to the future: in some sense unknown; possible job losses, financial hardships and uncertainties. A future changed because of unexpected death.

These all affect our mental health. We can, naturally, feel lonely and isolated within ourselves even with good community support. We might, out of frustration, feel the need to find blame; ‘The Government’, ‘China’, ‘The Science’. But, bottom line, we have to live with ourselves and all of those complex feelings of anxiety, fear and uncertainty we all now face. I would say these too are mental health issues because they drain us of a sense of worth and appetite for living. Some may have turned to some form of substance to relieve those feelings; alcohol, which is a mood-altering drug; mild anti-depressants or other forms of trying to deny the reality.

Deep-down it’s as if we strive for something to ease that emotional pain and somehow justify our existence. So, some mental health issues are not necessarily medical, they are Spiritual. How do we think of ourselves and how do we deal with all that complexity which is you and me, that CoVid19 isolation might have thrown up?
At the root of much of this is what I’ll call a lack of a sense of being content and at home ‘in our own skins’. Not in an arrogant or egotistic way, but in the sense of not recognising that we are ‘wonderfully made’ (Psalm 😎 and have, in God’s sight, inestimable worth. Despite our weaknesses and failings we are forgiven and redeemed ( the promise of Wholeness). That is the Good News which Jesus preached. We cannot be separated from the love of God in Christ, unless we choose to reject it ourselves. We are offered ‘Light’, but frequently choose the security of ‘Darkness’.

Medical conditions apart, I would guess that for most people, the deepest sense of anguish is that they don’t believe they are loved; that, in some sense, they are not good enough. So, let’s be grateful for ‘Unxpected Kindness’: the poster slogan for Mental Health Awareness Week. And the biggest ‘Unexpected Kindness’ the New Testament points us to is, at its heart, summed up in the words of St. Paul: that despite our rebellion against the Divine, we are still loved! THAT is the heart of the Gospel. That is why it is ‘GOOD NEWS’. ‘For NOTHING can separate us from the love of God made known to human-kind in Christ Jesus, our Lord’ (Romans Chapter 😎. And, that extends to ALL. Not what we expect. And we are invited to respond in love and gratitude and allow that Grace to transform us. It’s called ‘Worship’: an act of Gratitude and Adoration.

And it starts by accepting that Divine Love and being kind to ourselves. That’s hard because we beat ourselves up. It doesn’t mean sweeping things under the carpet; we must take responsibility. One starting point is honestly recognising that we are human; we make mistakes, but that is not the whole story. So, do something kind for yourselves. Count the many Blessings we do enjoy. See things in perspective. Let Light shine in those dark recesses of self-pity and give thanks that we are still here! In His last week Jesus of Nazareth spoke some inspiring words to His disciples: ‘In this world you shall have tribulation; but do not be afraid, I have overcome the world’ (John Chapter 14). It is an insight into how the human spirit, when in mystical union with the Divine, can break free from the life-denying bondage that our minds sometimes create and step into a new dimension of living that the Fourth Gospel calls ‘Eternal Life’. A quality of existence, not necessarily a spatial dimension.

Prayers for our Times

Loving Lord, in the midst of our isolation
We can so easily feel anxious and fearful.
In the silent hours and seemingly unending days
Our minds fill up with the ‘If onlys’ and ‘Should haves’
Of our lives. Pasts that cannot be changed. Futures unknown.
But you see all of that through the eyes of mercy and compassion.
Help us to be realistic, but hopeful
Knowing that all pain can be transformed by Your presence. Amen.

Lord, who in Your Ascension, show that Your
Love fills all time and space,
Give us Grace to deal with our confusions and
Irrational fears. Help us to see that no darkness is dark
To you and that, through the eye of Faith,
We may recognise Your Spirit in the whole
Created order, bringing newness and healing
Of all that is broken and hurt. Amen.

Canon Dewi Davies.