Child emotional abuse reports treble in Wales

·         NSPCC hears accounts of parents’ threatening and undermining their children

·         Huge rise in emotional abuse reports since last abuse prevalence survey in 2009

·         More than 300 reports of emotional abuse made to NSPCC from Wales last year

·         News comes at start of How Safe are our Children? annual conference & report

 

Reports of children in Wales being emotionally abused more than trebled in seven years, according to new figures released by the NSPCC today. 

 

The charity’s annual child protection report ‘How Safe Are Our Children’ found that since 2009/10 the number of contacts to the NSPCC Helpline from people in Wales concerned about children being subjected to emotional abuse has risen from 112 to 344 in 2016/17.

 

This has been mirrored across the UK, with the number of reports to the NSPCC’s helpline rising from 3,341 in 2009/10 to 10,009 in 2016/17; a staggering 200% rise.

 

However, the charity fears the full scale of the problem could be much greater and is demanding that the Government commissions a nationwide study that looks at the prevalence of child abuse and neglect in the UK.  

 

Helpline staff are hearing accounts of parents telling their children they hate them or wished they were dead, threatening them with extreme violence and blaming them for issues they are facing themselves such as unemployment or financial problems.

 

Last year alone (2016/17) the NSPCC’s child protection experts dealt with 10,009 contacts relating to emotional abuse – the equivalent to 27 a day – with three quarters (75%) deemed so severe they were referred to the police and/or children’s services.

 

In Wales there were nearly 500 referrals over the last two years alone, with 205 in 2015/16 and 272 in 2016/17.

 

Despite a huge increase in the amount of people reporting emotional abuse to the NSPCC Helpline over the last seven years, it is unclear how many more children in the UK are suffering from emotional abuse, or any other form of maltreatment, because of a lack of research in to the extent of abuse. The last study of this kind took place in 2009.

 

On-going emotional abuse can make children feel worthless and unloved and can have a profound effect on a child’s development, which can lead to issues in later life, such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, substance misuse and suicidal feelings.

 

Children who are emotionally abused may also be experiencing or be at risk of another type of abuse or neglect, the NSPCC Helpline has heard from people who were repeatedly worried that the emotional abuse they witnessed would turn into physical abuse.

 

Helpline practitioners identified three common themes raised by callers concerned that a child was being emotionally abused. These included domestic violence, alcohol or substance abuse, and mental health issues.

 

Because there’s an element of emotional abuse in all other types of child abuse and neglect, it can be difficult to spot the signs and to separate what’s emotional abuse from other types of abuse.

 

The NSPCC has published advice on the signs you may notice in a child’s actions or emotions:

·         be overly-affectionate towards strangers or people they haven’t known for very long

·         lack confidence or become wary or anxious

·         be aggressive or nasty towards other children and/or animals

·         struggle to control strong emotions or have extreme outbursts

·         lack social skills or have few, if any, friends

 

Des Mannion, head of NSPCC Cymru / Wales, said: “Hearing reports from our Helpline about parents or carers who are consistently verbally assaulting, bullying, isolating or humiliating their children is devastating.

 

“The huge increase in people recognising and reporting emotional abuse to our Helpline indicates people are willing to take action, but the disturbing truth is that the UK has no idea how many other children are suffering from emotional abuse or in fact, any type of abuse. 

 

“We urgently need Government to step in now, before another eight years go by, and commission a study that gives us the clearest possible picture of the extent of child abuse and neglect in the UK.”

 

The last study of the prevalence of child abuse and neglect was conducted in 2009 by the NSPCC. Since then there’s been significant changes for children’s lives, not least the increase in reporting of online abuse, and big increases in reporting of child sexual abuse. 

 

Any adult worried about a child can contact the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000.

ENDS

 

For further information please contact the NSPCC Wales press team on 02920 108159 / WalesPressOffice@nspcc.org.uk

 

Notes to Editors

NSPCC spokespeople in Wales and a Welsh case study in the NSPCC’s London office, Weston House, are available for interview.

 

Please find attached the written story from the case study, Rory, that media are invited to use.

 

·         How Safe are our Children 2017 report  [Goes live at 00.01hrs on Wednesday 21 June]

·         In 2009/10 there were 3,341 contacts made to the NSPCC Helpline about emotional abuse, compared to 10,009 contacts in 2016/17, making an increase of 200% over seven years. 

·         In 2009 the NSPCC carried out the second ever UK-wide study of child maltreatment, eight years later we are calling on Government to commission a new nationwide survey to give us a more up-to-date picture of what children were experiencing. The report was published in 2011.

·         The NSPCC Helpline responded to 66,218 contacts in 2016/17 from adults concerned about a child, its highest ever number.

 

Rory’s* story – Physical, emotional abuse and domestic violence

 

*Names have been changed to protect identity

 

My mum was very young and living in a hostel when I was born so I grew up with my Great Nan and Granddad until I was six years old. I have a lot of happy memories of living with them; they were kind and fun to be around. When my Mum was in a more stable place to look after me and had her own house, I went to live with her. She always made sure I was clean, fed, in school on time and not naughty but otherwise I was given free rein. I was a happy boy.

 

Six months after I moved in with Mum, her boyfriend Phil* came to live with us. He was very strict and a disciplinarian and was very different to my mum. He would make me go without food if I didn’t eat my dinner and would make me eat it on a table in the corner of the kitchen facing the wall by myself so he couldn’t see me. He would make me have cold showers if I wasn’t in on time to have my bath and punish me if I asked him for anything in public. If I tried to lie or conceal the truth he would punish me more by hitting me. As I grew older the violence escalated.

 

When I had bruises from him hitting me or throwing objects at me, he would make me wear jumpers to school to conceal them. If he couldn’t hide the cuts or bruises he would send me in with a note for the teacher with a lie about what had happened. He had everyone fooled.

 

The worst part of living with him was what he did to my mum. When I was younger I thought she approved of his violence towards me but I soon realised that she was a prisoner in her own home. He was violent to her on a daily basis. He would push her around and hit her in front of me. If he was angry he would strangle her. When he wasn’t happy he would lock her in her bedroom so she couldn’t come out and so I couldn’t see her. At night I would hear him raping her. 

 

Home life was oppressive and violent. His punishments were driven by his mood so I soon learnt when I should stay out of his way and out of the house. To everyone else he was charming and kind, but it was just a front so people didn’t suspect the violence. He was so charismatic that I knew even if I reported what he was doing, nobody would believe me. He told me if I told anyone what home life was like; he would cut my mum’s throat. The violence was so bad at home, that I knew he was capable of carrying out the threat. I stayed silent to protect my mum and baby sister once born. 

 

Living with him for nine years was horrific. The abuse felt never-ending and I couldn’t see a way out. I thought I was always going to be someone’s punching bag and just I wanted to disappear. I began to suffer from depression and had suicidal feelings. In the nine years he lived with us, I tried to kill myself 13 times. After each attempt, he would take me to hospital and have an explanation for my injuries. When I jumped out of my bedroom window and broke both of my legs, he told doctors that I’d fallen down the stairs. When I swallowed a bottle of tablets, he left me to sleep for two days. When I tried to hang myself the first time, the belt I had around my neck snapped. The second time I passed out and let go of the belt. I felt like I was trapped in this nightmare with no escape.

 

The day the abuse stopped, I was walking home from school and got a call from my Nan. She told me to come home immediately and not to talk to anyone. I thought my mum was dead. When I got home and saw her alive I was ecstatic. She had a handprint around her neck, and my auntie had saved her from being killed by him. It’s bizarre to say that the happiest day of my life was the day my mum was nearly murdered, but it meant that the abuse was over, we had escaped and he was gone.

 

After he was arrested and convicted I thought I would feel better but I just felt switched off. I felt as though I wasn’t capable of happiness or sadness anymore, just a numb blank feeling. My depression got worse and I continued to have suicidal feelings.

 

Life changed when I accessed support from the NSPCC. I was given counselling for six months to help me deal with what I’d been through and what I’d seen. Without the NSPCC’s support I don’t think I would be here now. It’s impossible to understand how my experience wouldn’t have an effect on my life, but I try to limit it.

 

Phil has been given life restraining orders for me and Mum so he can’t contact us again. It’s such a comfort to know he can’t hurt us again and the abuse really is over.

 

It’s been five years since the abuse ended and I still feel positive every day that’s its over. I’m stronger and bigger now and know I will never let anything like that happen to me, mum or anyone around me again. I’ve built myself to be the opposite of him. I campaign against violence against women.

 

My advice to anyone reading this that might be going through something similar is stay strong. You may feel like there’s no escape, but please stay strong.  Speak to someone if you feel it’s safe to do so but know that one day, you will see a safe way out and be able to take it.

 

Definition of Emotional abuse: The persistent emotional ill-treatment of a child such as to cause  severe and persistent adverse effects on the child’s emotional and behavioural development

 

Source: Welsh Assembly Government 2006 Safeguarding children: Working together under the Children Act 2004.