EXAM RESULTS NIGHTMARE – RELATE CYMRU CAN HELP!

Managing exam results – tips for young people and parents

With A-Level results now out and GCSE results just around the corner,
many parents will be wondering how best to support their child during
what can be an incredibly stressful time.  Some families will be
celebrating together, but the reality is that not everyone will get
the grades they dreamed of and there are likely to be some tears as
well.

Recent figures released by Childline showed a 21% rise in counselling
sessions over the last year for young people who were worried about
their grades.*  Relate is the UK’s largest provider of children and
young people’s counselling in schools and their counsellors also
witness first-hand how exam stress can be a key cause of anxiety for
teenagers.

That’s why Relate Cymru is releasing tips to both young people and
their parents for how best to handle the coming days and weeks.

Gwilym Roberts, National Director, Relate Cymru, says that without
realising they are doing any harm, parents can sometimes put
unnecessary pressure on their children. He said:

“Most parents want what’s best for their child and that’s why
they can sometimes pile on the pressure when it comes to school work
and exams.  But pushing your child too hard or criticising them when
they don’t get the grades you’d hoped isn’t good for their
self-esteem or your relationship.

“When it comes to knowing what grades to expect and how to react,
take your cue from your child. If they’re happy with their grades
then try to be happy for them too, even if the straight As you’d
hoped for didn’t materialise. If they’re disappointed, support
them and talk them through the options they have. It may be that lower
than expected grades act as a catalyst for positive changes in their
lives or to decide what it is they really want to do.”

Relate’s tips for young people
Be honest. You might feel like bottling up what you’re worried
about, but if you’re honest with your friends and family, they might
be able to help. It can also be hard for those around you to know how
to react unless you tell them what you’re hoping for.
DON’T DESPAIR. If your results are not what you were hoping for, try
not to fly off the handle. It’s ok to feel disappointed, and you
should give yourself time for that. But try to think about what steps
you can take now to improve the situation.
TALK TO SOMEONE. Knowledge is power and all that, so if your results
aren’t what you wanted, make an effort to talk to an expert about
your options. It might be that you can retake, or there might be
alternative routes that you can take from here. Find out as much
information as you can before rushing a decision.
GO STEADY. Celebrating or commiserating, it’s easy to get carried
away on results day. Results day can be very emotional, and parties
can sometimes get out of hand. Steer clear of drinking too much, and
try to think things through before you make rash decisions.
Relate’s tips for parents
Talk to your teenager. Try and find out about their expectations so
you know what they’re hoping for. This can make them feel cared for,
and it also helps you know how to react when they open their results.
MATCH YOUR EXPECTATIONS WITH THEIRS. You might be harbouring hopes for
a straight A student, but that might not be what your teenager is
hoping for. If they’re happy with their grades, be happy for them.
Equally, if they’re disappointed, try to see where they’re coming
from and offer support.
DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE EFFECT THAT EXAM RESULTS CAN HAVE. Results
day can be one of the most important days for young people and it’s
vital to recognise that. Don’t make out like the results don’t
matter, or that the exams were not difficult and don’t hold back on
the celebrating if your child is happy!
SUPPORT THEM If the grades are not what your teenager was hoping for,
give them time to come to terms with it. They might want to talk
through their options with you, or they might just want to be alone,
but make sure they know that you’re feeling for them, and you’re
there to help.

Relate’s non-judgmental services support individuals, couples,
families, children, young people and friends of all ages, backgrounds
and sexual orientations. Please contact Relate Cymru, 0300 0032340 to
find out more or to book a face-to-face appointment.