Barnardo’s research shows worrying attitude to grooming of boys by older women

Men have more relaxed attitudes to sexual abuse of boys by women like Emmerdale’s Maya, Barnardo’s finds

Men find the sexual abuse of teenage boys by women less concerning than the abuse of teenage girls by men, research by Barnardo’s shows.

The national children’s charity has found that people in general have a more relaxed attitude to boys being groomed and abused by older women – as in the current storyline in ITV’s Emmerdale – but that the most marked difference was among men.

A number of young men who have themselves been the victims of sexual abuse/exploitation and are supported by Barnardo’s Cymru Better Futures service have worked with the Emmerdale writers to give the script authenticity.

Its abuse storyline has seen schoolteacher Maya groom and abuse her pupil Jacob and has been praised for highlighting an important issue.

In last night’s episode viewers were shocked when, after months of grooming him, Maya and Jacob had sex just a few days after his 16th birthday.

Barnardo’s has commissioned a YouGov* survey which found that more than a quarter (26%) of men who were presented with a variety of scenarios that have played out in the ITV soap said they would have found them more concerning if the perpetrator had been male and the teenage victim female.

Overall, one-in-five UK adults (20%) had this view and, of these, nearly two-thirds (64%) said it was because they think teenage girls are more vulnerable than teenage boys. More than a quarter (28%) thought it was every teenage boy’s dream to be with an older woman.

Barnardo’s Chief Executive Javed Khan said: “This research shows that even in 2019, many people don’t recognise that sexual abuse of boys is just as serious as sexual abuse of girls.

“These outdated attitudes lead to boys missing out on vital support. They are much less likely than girls to be identified as victims of sexual abuse by professionals, who often don’t see them as victims.

“In fact, boys can be groomed by older men or older women, exploiting feelings of loneliness, their need for care and their desire to be loved before abusing them, just like Maya has done with Jacob in Emmerdale.

“We need to get out of the ‘Mrs Robinson’ mind-set. Abuse is abuse whether it happens to a boy or a girl or whether it’s perpetrated by a man or a woman, and it can cause long term harm, affecting attitudes to love, relationships and sex in adulthood.”

Separate research** conducted by Barnardo’s last year and funded by the Home Office found that boys and young men often miss out on the support they would receive if they were girls because professionals don’t always recognise them as victims.

It revealed that professionals may have difficulty in identifying and engaging boys and young men in terms of their history of abuse and trauma and that behaviour that might trigger concerns that girls are at risk is sometimes put down to ‘boys being boys’, leaving many victims without the specialist support they need.

The Children’s Commissioner estimates that more than a quarter of child sexual abuse victims are boys and, according to the Department for Education’s Children in Need census, more than a third of children on child protection plans for sexual abuse are boys.

Research from the Centre of Expertise on Child Sexual Abuse shows that 15% of girls and 5% of boys experience some form of sexual abuse before the age of 16.

Javed Khan added: “Addressing these topics in the classroom will help keep children safe and healthy, and prepare them for challenges on and offline.

“We know from our specialist work on child sexual abuse across the country how important it is to teach children and young people about consent, healthy relationships, how to spot the signs of abuse and how to ask for help.”

In its most recent research, Barnardo’s polled more than 2,000 people and all respondents were asked whether they were willing to take part in the survey since it dealt with sensitive issues involving child sexual abuse.

Half were presented with a variety of abusive scenarios involving an older woman and a teenage boy exchanging text messages containing explicit images. The other half were presented with the same scenarios with the genders of the perpetrator and victim reversed.

In one sample, 17% of men thought that a woman in her 30s and a 16-year-old boy exchanging text messages containing explicit images was not concerning, compared to 2% of women. In the second sample, people were presented with the same scenario involving a 16-year-old girl and a man in his 30s instead of a woman and a boy. Only 7% of men said this was not concerning.

Likewise, one in 10 men in the first sample thought that a female teacher and her 16 year old male student having sex was not concerning, compared to just 2% of women. When the genders of the perpetrator and victim were reversed for the second sample, only 4% of men were unconcerned.

Actress Louisa Clein who plays Maya told the Daily Mirror: “This story is fascinating because it’s an older woman and a younger boy.

“We see it on social media – a lot of people are like get in there, lad, you’ve got yourself an older woman, a cougar. But it is still abuse, it is still sexual exploitation.

“If it was an older man to a younger girl or boy, ­immediately people would be saying that is wrong.”

In Emmerdale, Louisa’s character Maya has used the following tactics to groom and abuse Jacob:

Targeting the victim

A groomer will identify a vulnerability within the intended victim. Children with limited support from trusted adults and/or less involved parents are more desirable, although all young people by their very nature are potential victims.

Gaining the victim’s trust

The groomer gains their victim’s trust by working out what the child’s needs are and how to fill them. They may make the child feel understood and valued.

Filling a need

The groomer may then fill the void in the child’s needs. They may provide drink, drugs, somewhere to stay, thoughtful gifts, – but most significantly, the groomer will make the child feel loved and special.

Isolating the child

The groomer may encourage the child to sever protective contacts with family and friends and assume a protective and understanding position.

Sexualising the relationship

After the emotional attachment and trust of the child has been obtained, the groomer progressively sexualises the relationship. Desensitisation of the child may occur through talking, watching pornography and having sexual contact. The child may begin to see their relationship in more special terms.

Maintaining control

Once the sexual abuse has begun, child sex abusers use secrecy, blame and threats to manipulate the child into silence and participation. Threats may be made against the child’s family and friends. The abuser may also threaten to circulate indecent/abusive images.