Psychologist advises parents on the best age to give a child their own mobile phone as the shift from primary to secondary school approaches for many
A new study from Bionic has discovered the shocking amount of time ‘iPad kids’, better known as Gen Alpha – those born from 2010 to 2024 – are set to spend online over their lifetime.
In the modern digital age, where the use of technology is encouraged before toddlers are even able to read, computers are used in classes at school, teenagers live and breathe social media, and adults work digitally; screen time quickly adds up.
The study discovered that 37 years of our youngest generation’s lives are set to be looking at screens, which is almost half (47%) of the average span. This raises the question of what parents can do to guide their children and their relationship with technology.
In the wake of the shocking Ofcom revelation, that almost a quarter of kids aged 5-7 have smartphones, Bionic has conferred with expert in psychology, Nilou Esmaeilpour* to reveal when exactly is the best age for a child to receive their own smartphone.
The registered clinical counsellor and founder of Lotus Therapy & Counselling Centre also shared, speaking exclusively with Bionic:
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Effective boundaries and rules parents can establish when giving their children their own mobile phones.
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How parents can handle the pressure to give their child a mobile phone when peers are getting their own devices.
Expert recommends giving children their first mobile phone at ages 12-14, up to nine years later than parents typically do
As children transition from primary to secondary school, many parents consider giving them their own mobile phone. Nilou, a psychologist has identified that between the ages of 12-14 is the best age to give your child their own device. This is up to nine years older than the age of 5-7 which OffCom* revealed as the age almost a quarter of children have their own mobile phone.
He explains his reasons for this, “At this age, children tend to be more responsible and able to understand what the device is all about, including matters of privacy and keeping themselves safe online.
Moreover, most of them are mature enough to handle their responsibilities with respect to a phone, be it following usage guidelines or not falling prey to possible distractions.
“This age also brings the onset of minor independence, such as travelling to school or for extracurricular activities alone, where having a phone becomes very important from a safety and contact perspective.
Finally, the complex social dynamics are established in senior school, and having a phone would keep them in touch with peers—an element of social development.”
Five rules parents should set in place before giving children their first mobile phone
Providing your child with a mobile phone will likely lead to a significant increase in their screen time. Nilou offers valuable advice on setting boundaries to ensure children maintain a healthy balance and stay safe online.
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“No phone use after 8 PM in the evening to make sure that too much screen time does not mess with your sleep.”
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“Setting phone-free zones, like during dinner or while the family is together, would be another key limit; this helps in face-to-face communication and bonding within a family.”
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“Parents should also encourage regular digital detox periods, such as screen-free weekends or a few hours in the day for non-screen activities.”
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“The discussion and acceptance of what constitutes acceptable online behaviour in terms of the content they are allowed to view and share.”
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“The use of parental control features that monitor and limit the usage will help them slowly learn self-regulation and responsible use.”
Five compromises parents can consider if their child asks for a mobile phone before they are ready
Delaying giving your child their own mobile phone can significantly reduce their overall screen time. However, once their peers start getting devices, parents may feel pressured to follow suit. Nilou shares how parents can manage this pressure,
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“Keep the lines of communication open about your concerns and why you are making the choices you make. Explain to them why it is good to wait until they are ready; and how that’s going to benefit them in terms of well-being and safety.”
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“Using a shared device in the house where more stringent control over its use may be exercised or having some type of basic phone model with limited functionality.”
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“Partnering with other parents to form a support network can also work quite effectively in an effort to maintain similar expectations of rules related to phones among their friends.”
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“It’s also good to direct attention to other aspects of a child’s life, such as some hobby, sport, or social activity unrelated to screens.”
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“Reinforcing readiness and responsibility, and setting examples to show that they truly mean something, parents can lighten the pressure and enable children to learn the worth of waiting.”
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